So Many people cried. Okay if I'm being honest, I cried so I had to ask myself why? I mean lets be real! The closest I ever got to Michael Jackson was watching him on TV! Okay, I did have a poster, a Michael Jackson doll, and of course Thriller as a kid. But what caused me to shed a tear??? I mean it actually felt like I had lost a relative! I even caught an attitude when I heard what I perceived to be a negative comment on his death!" Am I upset because Michael represented an era in my life that his death signifies is gone forever? Or is it something deeper?
I admit it! I'm an "MJ" baby! He certainly was a huge influence. Who didn't rock the white socks, a glittery glove, a t-shirt with his picture, or, (if you were fortunate), have a Thriller or Beat It replica jacket? I remember even burning my cousins scalp with hair spray so that he could have the Michael Jackson part and curl, even though he had a fro, and no way of that mess curling! I also remember my friend returning from Europe and she and her dad telling stories of how people followed them around asking if "SHE" were Michael Jackson, despite the obvious, (she was a girl), and only 11, but hey, she did have a curl. So pervasive was Michael during that time that besides setting fashion trends with the color Levi's , Penny loafers, and aviator glasses. In business this soft spoken child-like man showed the shrewdness of any CEO. He taught my generation how to dream bigger! "Don't just want to sing the songs, write them!" "Produce them!" "Own your masters!" "Own someone Else's!" I remember how shocked I was when I heard Michael Jackson had bought the Beetles catalogue. I thought, a "black boy" from Gary Indiana had not only the funds, but the nerve and the audacity to buy one of "white pop cultures" most prized catalogues. If he could do that I certainly could do anything! Before him music videos were simply a band recorded singing. After, him they were stories and sometimes mini movies and any entertainer worth their salt never came with anything less! MTV went from relative obscurity to a household name after the debut of Thriller's video.
He made us wanna dance like him. He made us dress like him but in his music he encouraged us to find our own greatness! He told us to care about those who were less fortunate and that a change starts simply with the "Man in the Mirror". As I thought about it I realized that I wasn't crying because his death marked an end of an era but rather I was crying because that ended forever his opportunity to have the happiness that he had given so many of us! I was upset that he had given tirelessly of his talents, time, and money and we as a society greedily took, took, and took with out ever giving him what he so richly deserved. Just a minute to be normal. We never questioned what he saw or heard as a talent in the racially turbulent 60's that made him think a change of skin tone, hair texture, and nose shape was so very necessary. We weren't willing to believe that his desire to be in the company of small children was not for nefarious reasons but rather because by virtue of their innocence and their age they wouldn't act or treat him differently. We never considered what being a kid on the road with teenage brothers with raging hormones and girls willing to "swap" more than "candy" because of who they were would do to his psyche or his self-esteem. We certainly didn't factor in how he would process seeing those same girls claim to be pregnant weeks later. How do you have "normal" in a world were everybody knows your name? How do you build self-esteem when everybody wants something from you including those you love? How do you trust when time and time again people have "hung you out to dry?" Is it so surprising that he wanted to buy Joseph Merrick's, (the elephant man), bones seemingly one of the few people to ever walk the earth who could know the total isolation and sometimes desolation that he felt? A peek inside Merrick's novel will probably tell you more about Michael's feelings than even he was willing to admit.
Yes, he was treated like a King in every part of the world he visited but what happens when you just wanna be regular? There were no school buddies who liked him because they shared a love of something. There were no school dances to pass notes that said "Do you like me? Yes or No, check the box". There was no stolen kiss because you were simply a cute guy. There would never be an opportunity to go to the amusement park with strangers, share in their laughter, ride the highest ride without being noticed. There would never be an opportunity to take your kids to a park to thoroughly enjoy their antics. There would never be a normal life. At some point I guess I held out hope that as long as Michael was alive he would someday be able to have "normal". This week I cried because his death meant that would never be. I remember watching the TV show Fame. In it Debbie Allen would tell her dancers, "Fame cost and Right Here is where you start paying in sweat!" I know now that Fame most certainly costs and sometimes the price is far greater than sweat!
~d-the-VIP
